The Fight

It is always interesting to me when adoptive parents say that they "fought" to get their children home. I never really understood what they meant. I always pictured the "fight" being a court room battle, attorneys, and goverment officials trying to keep you from your child. Sometimes that does happen. But most of the people that I have heard say that, havent had anything too dramatic happen....its just been your typical adoption (let me say that NO adoption is EASY!) 

However, NOW I know that every parent that adopts, FIGHTS. I have been fighting now for 4 months....and the past 10 weeks have been TOUGH. The fight I am referring to, does not happen in a court room or with attorneys. The fight I have been fighting has been within myself. 

It's been a FIGHT....

To live without my daughter

To live each day to its fullest 

To constantly trust the Lord

To not live in sadness

To give the Lord control

To sit back and let the Lord work

To not worry about my daughter

To not let the tears flow when someone asks me about her

To not let the circumstances consume me

To not be jealous of others

To ENJOY life

It's been a struggle. But I am SO thankful for the struggle. The Lord has taught me so much. I have learned so much about the Lord's faithfulness. I have learned to trust the Lord when everything is out of my control. I have learned to trust the Lord with my children...even when they are a world away. 

I. am. thankful. for. the. stuggle. 

And yes, that's much easier to say now that I know my daughter is coming home. But I told several people that I was thankful even last week.... when I had no idea when I would see my daughter again.

And now....NOW she is coming home.